Social obligations and norms differ depending on where you live. However, being asked “How are you?” is a pretty universal part of being greeted when you come into close contact with another person while going about your day-to-day activities. An inevitability comes next. The answer to the question is almost always some derivative of “I’m fine, you?”—*Insert heavy sigh.* But we have some creative alternatives to offer in this list of funny responses to “How are you?”
If you want to change things up a bit and give a better answer than “good” to the question of how you are, then you’ve come to the right place. Whether you’re being greeted as you enter a store, catching up with an old friend, receiving a text from the ex you really don’t want to hear from or casually running into your crush, we’ve got some unique and hilarious ways to respond to this super common inquiry.
Whether you want to err on the side of caution and provide a cheery (yet one-of-a-kind) response, break the mold and give them something to think about, or remain your truly pessimistic self, (absolutely nothing to be ashamed of!), then continue reading! You’ll find the 125 best ways to answer “How are you?” the next time you’re asked.
Funny Responses to “How Are You?”
- At minding my own business? Better than most people.
- What do you want? (But, like, lightly… so as not to be rude.)
- I’d say I’m at least a 7 out of 10.
- Good enough!
- How dare you! (Act shocked for an even better response.)
- I’ll let you judge for yourself.
- I can’t complain! Though sometimes I still do.
- Just average.
- Compared to who?
- I love you. (Just go for it, catch them off guard!)
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- I’m blessed!
- It’s too early to tell.
- Nothing much. (Wait for them to realize the answer doesn’t fit. Their face will be worth it.)
- If I were any better, I’d be illegal.
- Strange, and getting stranger!
- This could be my antidepressants, but I’m doing great!
- It’s a secret.
- I’d be better if I were anywhere but here.
- I have no way of knowing.
- *Stares blankly.*
- Hey! Look over there! (Run away.)
- I can’t tell you.
- On a scale from one to punching someone in the face, I’m about at wishing someone would stub their toe hard.
- You’re lookin’ at it!
- All right so far, but there’s still time for everything to go horribly wrong.
Best Responses to “How Are You?”
- I could really go for a massage. (I mean, couldn’t we all??)
- Overworked and underpaid.
- Can’t complain. Nobody listens anyway.
- Nice and dandy like cotton candy.
- Much better now that you are here.
- Yes.
- Unsure. Is it Friday yet?
- Each day is better than the next.
- Waiting for someone to ask!
- Ready for a nap, you?
- Happy and you know it! (Then clap your hands.)
- Groovy!
- Sunshine all day long!
- Dancing to the rhythm of life!
- Somewhere between better and best.
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- So far, so good!
- Wondering how you are.
- Better on the inside than I look on the outside.
- Dangerously close to fabulous.
- Why do you ask? Are you a doctor?
- Terrible! Thanks for asking.
- Just taking it one fine day at a time.
- Everything is fine with you around.
- Getting better with every passing
